P E R S O N A L TESTIMONY
“Where did the American Indians come from?” That simple question posed to me by my fifth grade teacher caused me to set the pattern for my life goals for years to come. My family had moved to Georgia just weeks before and it was immediately apparent that I was “different.” My answer to the question brought a new respect to the eyes of my classmates. Right then I decided to excel in my studies. More than that, I determined to be the best at everything expected of me by my parents, teachers, and peers. I wanted their approval. My report cards showed all A’s through high school. I was captain of the football team, and colonel of our high school JROTC regiment. Continuing my education at West Point I graduated 13th in my class, and received a Marine Corps commission. After studying in England as a Rhodes Scholar I returned to the Second Marine Division.
In 1966 I was assigned as an advisor to a Vietnamese Marine battalion. During the first few months our battalion of 800 Marines took heavy casualties. Men were killed and injured all around me and for the first time in my life I couldn’t control the situation. Death could come at any moment. My wife Norwood had given me a Bible to take to Vietnam. She had written in the front “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3: 5-6. With death apparently closing in, I would consider those verses and then turn to Psalm 23, read it, and pray “God, what is going to happen to me if I die?” One day waiting to go into battle I went through the reading and Psalm 23: 6 jumped off the page “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” It was a revelation, and I understood three facts. His goodness and mercy would follow me all my life. Regardless of when or where I died I would go to be with Him in His house forever. Most importantly, He was not some remote mythical character but rather a warm, loving God who would come into our lives as we asked. I knew so because He had answered my prayer.
God kept me safely through my tour of duty and I returned to my family and stateside duty. I knew what God had done for me but I slipped back into depending on myself to meet the personal and professional challenges I faced each day. As long as things were going my way I did not call on Him. But that didn’t last long! My next desperate plea to God came when my son fell from a high diving board and hit his head on the side of the pool. The sound of his head hitting the concrete sickened me. At the hospital we learned that his skull was fractured from ear to ear. That night I prayed “God, please save Drummond’s life.” The accident happened on Sunday. On Tuesday he seemed to be thriving and on Friday the doctors told us to take him home. A miracle! There were no side affects whatsoever from the trauma; even the skull fracture scar disappeared.
On the other hand, in quiet moments during the months that followed I would relive that scene and hear the horrible sound of my son’s head hitting the concrete. Nausea would grip my gut and I would say “God, thank you for saving his life.” After one of those “daymares” God spoke to my heart “John, I have given you your son’s life. Now you must give me yours.” I snapped to attention fully expecting another word telling me what He wanted me to do. Nothing! For a year I prayed about what action I should take. Somehow the issue was “Should I leave the Marine Corps?” One day as I was reading the Bible I was led to 1 Corinthians 7: 20 “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.” Just as God had revealed Psalm 23: 6’s meaning earlier He showed me in this verse that I was to stay in the Corps because that was where He first called me. But I still didn’t know what He meant in “giving my life to Him.”
In 1972 we moved to Boston where I was going to graduate school. I became involved in a Bible study that was looking deeply into Paul’s letter to the Romans. Despite the fact that God had revealed Himself to me in wonderful ways I did not have a great love for Him or sense of gratitude in my heart. That worried me. I wanted that empty spot in my heart filled as I sensed it should be. As we considered the scripture I became aware that I was a deeply sinful person and in need of God’s righteousness, not to be “goody-goody” but to be in a right relationship with God. My daily prayer became Matthew 5: 6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled.” I prayed fervently to be filled with that righteousness. Soon, another verse became operative, John 16: 8 “And when He (the Holy Spirit) is come He will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.” For six months the Holy Spirit took me back to the beginning of my quest for approval through achievement. He showed me that in everything I still held in pride there was an element of impurity that kept me out of relationship with Almighty God. The reproving came to an end on June 30, 1974 as I was attending morning worship at Grace Chapel in Lexington, Massachusetts. The pastor, Gordon MacDonald, was preaching on the parable about the sower who cast seeds among thorns that choked off the seed. Jesus explained to His disciples “And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the Word, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.” Mark 4: 18-19. Pride and ambition of life… that was what kept me separated from God. As I sat there in the pew I knew that if I were called into God’s presence and He asked me, “John, by what right should you enter into eternal life?” I had no good answer. “How about a Rhodes Scholarship?” What about a Silver Star Medal?” “All A’s on my report cards?” As I finished my account of those accomplishments that meant something to me, I knew that God would just shake His head. Each one of them was impure in some way that kept them from measuring up. In one horrible moment I realized that He and His standards were perfect and there was nothing I could do that would make up the difference. In the next moment I knew how desperately I needed what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross. It was all I could offer to God. And I prayed “God, it is only by the blood of Jesus Christ that I can claim eternal life in Your kingdom. I accept Jesus as my Savior and Lord.” In an instant that empty spot in my heart was filled with a love of gratitude.
I had “given my life to Him” and He had given me new life in Jesus Christ.
To God be the glory!
Semper Fidelis,
John Grinalds
MajGen USMC (Ret)