How to Talk to Kids about Pornography: 3 Painless Steps

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July 11, 2019

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Parents, what conversation is dreaded more than the first one about pornography? I’m not sure there is one! Teaching kids about where babies come from seems simple in comparison. The good news is that it’s not as difficult as you think. I’ve broken it down into three relatively painless steps: start early, empower kids with the basics, and keep on learning and talking!

1. Start Early

How early should you begin warning your child about pornography? The short answer is as soon as they have any access to the internet (or apps that lead to the internet). #SoonerIsSafer! No conscientious parent allows a child access to a busy street without teaching them about the dangers of oncoming cars. It just makes sense to give young kids a gentle warning about harmful content as soon as they are allowed to play on the byways of the internet.

Susan is a very protective mom, and very wise, too. She told me about the time when her 7-year-old son was exposed to pornography by a neighbor. A few days earlier, she had re-read Good Pictures Bad Pictures to her son and reminded him of what to do if he ever saw a bad picture. Although it was distressing, everything worked according to plan! He turned away and went home and told his mom what he had seen. Thankfully, he was prepared!

Children who are caught off guard by pornography are not safe. They are more vulnerable than children who have been warned and given a plan for responding to exposure.

When a parent begins early, it’s not awkward for the child. As the adult, you create the context. Parents continue to tell me that their kids take it well, and that broaching the topic creates an even stronger, more trusting bond with their child.

Don’t be scared—be prepared!

2. Empower Kids with Three Basics

Children need to know three things about pornography:

  • What it is—they need an appropriate definition of pornography.
  • Why it’s harmful—so many kids grow up without a clue that pornography can hurt their young minds—they need good information!
  • How to reject it—a simple plan so they know exactly what to do when they see pornography.

An age-appropriate definition of pornography for a young child gives them just enough information so they can recognize it. In my Good Pictures Bad Pictures series of read-aloud books, I use the following simple definition. “Pornography means pictures, videos or even cartoons of people with little or no clothes on…that focus on the private parts of the body we keep covered with a swimsuit.”

Some critics argue that pornography should not be equated with nudity or else it will cause “body shame.” I take great pains to assure kids that “every part of your body is good, including your private parts. But taking pictures of them and sharing them with others is not good.” Kids are very literal, and nuance is lost on them. Just teach them to come and tell you if they see nudity or near nudity and you can enlighten them if they need additional understanding. For simple tips on how to explain the difference between porn and art to a child, read this blog post.

Explain why it’s harmful. For young children, I use the “picture poison” analogy in my Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. book. You’ve already taught them about poison and harmful substances. Pictures can poison the mind, too. Again, reassurance is critical: “There’s something good you can do if you see a bad picture.”

Older children can learn how pornography can become a bad habit or even an addiction. Once kids understand the process of addiction, they have a real opportunity to protect their own brains. Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids describes how the “thinking brain” and the “feeling brain” can work together to stay safe from addiction. This article from my website ProtectYoungMinds.org contains a simplified explanation of how addictions develop.

3. Give Kids a Plan

It’s common wisdom to teach kids to respond to a fire or active shooter. They need the same “fire drill” for pornography. Thankfully, most children won’t deal with a fire or a shooter, but all of them will need to escape from pornography.

The “escape” plan from Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. is simply “Turn, Run and Tell!” Turn away from the bad picture, hurry and get away, and go tell a trusted adult what you saw. The CAN DO Plan from Good Pictures Bad Pictures helps kids not only turn away from it, but to label it by saying “That’s pornography!” This allows kids to have more control over their thoughts by engaging their thinking brain.

Make sure your kids know who they can talk to about pornography exposure wherever they are. Talk to their teachers at school and find out what their plan is for students reporting pornography exposure.  

Finally, help your kids to know how to minimize or “forget” any shocking images they are exposed to by learning to redirect their thoughts to something they get excited about. For example, if they love horses, have them think about saddling up and galloping away! And encourage them to keep practicing—it takes several times, but every time a bad image pops up, just keep thinking about something else. Pretty soon, that memory will begin to fade.

No Child Deserves to Face the Porn Industry Alone

Kids who interface with screens need to know what pornography is, why it’s harmful and what to do when they see it. And they also need constant mentoring. Some families use #TalkTechTuesdays to address all kinds of digital age issues. Whatever day you choose, make sure you keep talking with your kids and listening to their experiences.

I am grateful for caring adults who choose to confront pornography head on so kids won’t have to face it alone. And once you begin the conversation, it gets easier and more comfortable. You CAN DO it.

To get started, check out the free Quick Start Guide for Proactive Parents on ProtectYoungMinds.org.

Kristen A. Jenson, MA is the founder of Protect Young Minds and best-selling author of the Good Pictures Bad Pictures series of read-aloud books. She serves on the Safeguard Alliance founded by the National Center on Sexual Exploitation.

Additional Resources:
https://endsexualexploitation.org/

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Banned Practice: YouTube Takes Censorship to Trans Debate

November 08, 2019

By Tony Perkins

“Talk with teens about possible regret.” That’s what the American Academy of Pediatrics says about tattoos and body piercings. But when it comes to giving a girl who thinks she’s a boy a double mastectomy, the same organization thinks parents should “respect” their kids’ wishes.

That’s just part of the hypocrisy Dr. Michelle Cretella was trying to point out about the liberal medical community in a popular video for the Daily Signal. I say “trying,” because after two years, the flaggers at YouTube decided to pull down the 2017 content and ban it. The truth about transgenderism, they said, “violates YouTube’s hate speech policy.” According to liberal flaggers, the offensive part was just one sentence — but, as Daily Signal editor Katrina Trinko explained on Thursday’s “Washington Watch,” it was an important one.

“If I walk into my doctor’s office today and say, ‘Hi, I’m Margaret Thatcher,’ my physician will say I am delusional and give me an anti-psychotic,” Dr. Cretella explained. But, “if instead, I walked in and said, ‘I’m a man,’ he would say, ‘Congratulations, you’re transgender.’ If I were to say, ‘Doc, I’m suicidal because I’m an amputee trapped in a normal body, please cut off my leg,’ I will be diagnosed with body identity integrity disorder. But if I walk into that doctor’s office and say, ‘I am a man, sign me up for a double mastectomy,’ my physician will.” Then came the part that really set YouTube off: “See, if you want to cut off a leg or an arm you’re mentally ill, but if you want to cut off healthy breasts or a penis, you’re transgender.”

Nothing that Dr. Cretella said is medically inaccurate. “And yet [it’s] so ‘offensive,'” Katrina argued, that “YouTube cannot even let it be said.” And what’s even more incredible is that this video has been online for a whole two years! It already has 70 million views. If YouTube wanted to keep the lid on these facts, they sure took their time doing it. But even now, after months of back-and-forth with the Daily Signal, it’s obvious the company isn’t concerned about truth or fairness. “We said, ‘Hey, we understand you’re a private company. We respect that you have the right to have your own rules. But we really think that this is a targeting of conservatives. Can we come to some sort of understanding?”

YouTube’s answer? No. “Ultimately, we were told the only way we could get the video back on YouTube was to delete the sentence [about cutting off healthy body parts]. In other words, we had two choices: censor the doctor’s words or have no video on the world’s biggest video platform.” That, Katrina said, “should horrify every YouTube user — and anyone who values the importance of a public square featuring a variety of perspectives.”

At a time when children are being legitimately and irreparably hurt by this ideology, the last thing any social media company should be doing is silencing experts. Dr. Cretella is a pediatrician with decades of professional experience. She understands the consequences of this because she’s seen them. If families reinforce and support their kids’ biological gender through puberty, “the vast majority of gender-confused children [as many as 98 percent!] get better.” But here we are, she warns, rushing to “chemically castrate gender-confused children with puberty blockers. Then we permanently sterilize many of them by adding cross-sex hormones, which also put them at risk for heart disease, strokes, diabetes, cancers, and even the very emotional problems that the gender experts claim to be treating.”

The truth may be uncomfortable. The science might be “offensive.” But what people don’t know about this fad of self-expression is destroying our children’s futures. The Left can’t debate Dr. Cretella — they can’t argue against the facts — so they call it “hate speech.” It’s time for the rest of us to rise up and speak out — while we still can! Conservatives may not be as loud and noisy and quick to complain as liberals, Katrina says, “but we exist.” And we should be allowed to speak freely. If you agree, weigh in. Tweet at them: @YouTube and @google. Or leave a message on Google’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Google/) or YouTube’s (https://www.facebook.com/youtube/).


Tony Perkins’s Washington Update is written with the aid of FRC senior writers.

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Praying Scripture in Spiritual Warfare

Here are some examples of using God’s Word to fight and win.
Read the scripture from the Bible and then turn the scripture into a prayer.

Feeling Afraid or Confused
2 Timothy 1:7 God, you have not given me a spirit of fear, but the Holy Spirit resulting in power, love and a sound mind.
Psalm 4:8 Because of you, Lord, I can sleep in peace and dwell in safety.
John 4:4 God, You are my Father and I am your child. Greater is your Holy Spirit in me than the devils of this world.

Feeling Guilty and Worthless after Confessing Sin
Colossians 2:13-15 Thank you, Lord, for forgiving me. The blood of your cross has wiped the record clean. The curses can no longer cling to me. Your glory triumphs over spells and witchcraft.
Isaiah 54:17 My righteousness is a gift from you, Lord. No attack from the enemy will prosper. My inheritance is that You, Lord, will defend me and claim me as your own.

Spiritual Attacks – Respond, counter attack and walk in victory.
Jude 1:9 The Lord rebuke you. May God be glorified. May Satan get no glory here. (We don’t have to get dramatic.)
James 4:7-9 Satan, I reject you and all your evil ways. Jesus, I draw near to You.
Ephesians 6:15 Oh Lord, wherever I go, may I bring peace and declare your peace. That the God’s wisdom and God’s design will permeate my surroundings. (Peace is defined as things flowing as they should.) That love will flow between parents and children. That people would pursue God’s righteousness instead of rebellion. That truth will be taught about life, relationships and finances. That our hearts passions would be for God and His glory … and not for idols, destruction and lust.

Witnessing in Enemy Territory
Proverbs 14:27-28 My God and King, I want to bring glory to you by bringing people into Your Kingdom. Lord, may there be many generations in this place that serve and bring glory to you. Help us for your glory and bless the work of our hands. Lord, help us to teach them to fear you as the Fountain of Life, that saves them from the snares of death.
Jude 1:20-23 Oh Lord, help us hate the sin, but love the sinner. Help us rescue them from the fire of hell. Satan may have tattooed his name all over their body, but You, Lord, still want to write your name on their heart.
Ephesians 1:17-23 Oh Lord, we are your inheritance that you cherish. Lord help us to be a bright light that helps them understand that You love and want them. Lord give us wisdom and power to be effective in the work You have called us to do. Lord, we want to build up Your church and fill this land. Please shine Your light into their minds so they can understand how great and glorious You are.

Pray and Preach referencing God’s Word.
(What is an angel’s sword? Doesn’t God have new technology like bombs, bullets and lasers? Why are angels still using swords today and in the future? An angel’s sword is the Word that God has spoken about a situation.)
Genesis 3:24 God declared no one could eat of the tree of life.
Jude 1:9 God declared Satan could not take the body of Moses.
Zechariah 1:4-5 We do not need walls to protect us, when God declares protection.
Ephesians 6:17 The Word of God is the Sword of the Spirit that we are to proclaim.
Revelation 19:15 Jesus judges the nations with the sword of His mouth.
John 3:18-21 Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world, because they were already condemned by the sword of His Word in Exodus and Deuteronomy. Jesus came to earth so that we could declare the Sword of forgiveness and life through the blood of Jesus Christ. The Word of God sets the captives free.

Have fun in the joy of the Lord!

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They Weren’t Prepared for This

Family Research Council
December 13, 2018

Where does raising a white flag in the battle over your core values lead? Ask the Boy Scouts of America. After throwing up their hands on 103 years of conviction, the group may finally be learning that standing on principle isn’t easy — but it’s a whole lot better than the alternative.

The fight to live out your beliefs can be an exhausting one. Until 2000, the Scouts had spent years in court just for the freedom to stick to its moral code. They won, but — to the organization’s dismay — the battle didn’t end. Waves of LGBT activists kept coming, and the pressure built until 2013, when BSA leaders gave into the lie that compromise would be their salvation. Five years later, we all can see: there’s almost nothing left to save.

A half-decade into its LGBT experiment, the Boy Scouts are a step away from bankruptcy. Turns out, their defining moment may also be a fatal one. As the Wall Street Journal reports, the group has been bleeding members since it broke camp and allowed in kids and leaders who openly identify as gay and transgender. Not long after that, one of its biggest backers, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, announced the withdrawal of tens of thousands of young LDS from the program. Then, the paper points out, there was the fallout from recruiting girls, which not only angered its base — but pitted the organization in a legal war with Girl Scouts USA. Now, a program that used to be one of America’s finest is considering Chapter 11.

Friends, if you’re wondering where the road of compromise leads, this is it. This is the future of anyone in the Christian community who exchanges the truth for cowardly conformism. The Boy Scouts dropped their moral mandate to accommodate what they don’t believe. In the current climate, that’s called “inclusion.” But if the Scouts were being more inclusive, why didn’t their numbers grow? Because, when you try to appeal to a conflicting moral viewpoint you only end up attracting the conflict!

Right now, too many churches, Christian colleges, and leaders are dangerously close to making the same mistake. They’re so desperate or fearful — or both — that they’re willing to water down who they are to protect the small space they’re standing on. There’s just one problem: the gospel’s truth isn’t up for negotiation. And in their rush to soften the blow of its confrontation, some believers are losing their identity.

Christians in Paul’s time were no different. Like humans throughout history, they craved acceptance. “I am astonished,” Paul wrote to the Galatians, “that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel — which is really no gospel at all. Evidently, some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ… Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? …If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

The Boy Scouts wandered so far away from their identity that by the end of 2016, they even dropped their most defining characteristic: boys. In the end, it ruined them. That’s the destiny of any Christian who takes the naïve view that world can be placated. It can’t. True love, I Corinthians 13:6 tells us, is truth. It’s being salt and light in a draining, unforgiving culture. “Come out from them and be separate,” Paul said, because he understands that in the end, it’s not our sameness with the world that transforms people. It’s our distinction. And one of the greatest is standing for truth — even when we’re standing alone.

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